Previous trauma and fear of abandonment can make it difficult to maintain boundaries in a relationship. If you are in some way looking for validation and to please your partner by avoiding conflict, it might be hard for you to say no to them.
Recognize that you are worthy of self-care and respect. It is important to remember that you are not responsible for another person's feelings or reactions.
You have a right to your own emotions and needs, and it is okay to express them.
Start by communicating what your boundaries are in an assertive way.
You need to understand that violating your boundaries is not helpful for you or the relationship.
So how do you maintain boundaries in your relationship? Below are some tips and tricks to help:
• Be upfront about your needs - Let your partner know what you need from them in order to feel comfortable and respected.
• Stand up for yourself - Don't let your partner cross your boundaries without letting them know that it's not okay.
• Set limits - If certain behaviors or activities make you uncomfortable, establish a limit and explain why.
• Listen to your partner’s needs - Just as you have a right to your boundaries, your partner has a right to theirs. It's important that you take the time to figure out what makes you feel comfortable and safe in your relationship. And once you've set those boundaries, be sure to stick up for them!
• Don’t expect your partner to read your thoughts - This one is especially important if you have a hard time communicating your needs. Don't expect your partner to know what you need unless you tell them! And if they do something that bothers you, be sure to speak up.
• Be vocal when you need space - Don't be afraid to ask for time alone, especially if you're feeling overwhelmed. If you need a break from your partner, let them know! It's important that they understand why you need the space and how they can help make things better.
• Set boundaries for yourself - This is probably the most important boundary of all. If you don't take care to set boundaries for yourself, no one else will do it for you.
• Always say what’s troubling you - Bottling things up will only make them worse. If something is on your mind, talk to your partner about it. This includes both the good and bad aspects of your relationship. It's important that they know what you're thinking and feeling! If you want to live a balanced life, you need to set boundaries because boundaries allow you to dictate how you live your life and teach others to treat you.
• Communicate with respect - What you say matters. How you say it is just as important if not more important. Your tone, volume, and non-verbal cues can impact how your message is perceived and understood.
If you have any questions about setting boundaries or would like some help implementing, please reach out to us! We're here to help.
You can also check out our other blog posts or the resources page to find third-party resources and reference materials.
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